Starting the conversation about underage drinking and drug use can feel intimidating—but it’s one of the most important steps any caring adult can take to support a young person’s health and future. Experts from the American Academy of Pediatrics recommend beginning these conversations as early as age 9. Kids who learn about the risks of alcohol and other drugs from trusted adults are less likely to engage in these and other risky behaviors.
Here are five key things to keep in mind—along with practical ways to put them into action:
1. Show You Disapprove of Underage Drinking and Other Drug Misuse. Young people are less likely to drink or use drugs when they know the adults in their lives are against it.
- Tip: Be clear and consistent. For example: “In our family, we don’t drink alcohol until we’re 21 because, not only is it illegal, but it’s also harmful to your brain and body while you’re still growing.”
2. Show You Care About Their Health, Wellness, and Success. Kids want to know the adults around them are on their side. Framing the conversation around their goals makes a difference.
- Tip: Connect healthy choices to their interests: “Staying drug-free will help you focus in school, do your best in sports, keep your brain sharp, and feel more confident.”
3. Show You’re a Good Source of Information. If you don’t talk with them, they’ll get information elsewhere—often from peers or the internet.
- Tip: Share simple, accurate facts: “Alcohol and other drugs like marijuana can hurt your brain while it’s still developing until around age 25.” If you don’t know an answer, look it up together—it shows you care enough to find the truth.
4. Show You’re Paying Attention. Young people should know the adults in their lives are aware of what’s happening and that risky behaviors won’t go unnoticed.
- Tip: Ask about their friends, check in on how they’re spending their time, and follow up on things they’ve shared. Keep your tone supportive, not accusatory.
5. Build Their Skills and Strategies. Help them feel prepared to handle peer pressure or tricky situations.
- Tip: Role-play together: “What would you say if someone at a party offered you alcohol?” Practice a few responses so they feel confident. This is more than “just say no”—they could make an excuse, suggest doing something else, or even call you for a ride.
Why This Matters
By doing these five things, you build stronger, more trusting relationships with the young people in your life. When kids feel supported and like they belong in healthy relationships, they’re more likely to make positive choices.
Conversations about underage drinking and drug use aren’t one-time talks—they’re ongoing. Keep communication open, supportive, and age-appropriate. Starting early and staying consistent makes a lasting difference on a child’s choices and well-being.
For more tips on talking with children and teens about underage substance use, visit Parents Empowered (parentsempowered.org) and Gray Matters (graymatters.utah.gov).